Monday, September 29, 2008

out of norm or not?

i can play guitar, keyboard, bass, even handle the mic a little bit, and some others but i don't seem to have even a pinch of talent in percussion T_T

i'm a nature & animal lover, but i can't seem to get over my cockroachophobia. muthaaa!

i can draw cartoons and imitate body parts, but i can't draw a good portrait T_T

i can go to the toilet alone at 4.00 a.m, but i can't stand the smell. it haunts me.

i can survive in a room with piles of jumbled clothes, but i can't stand any stickiness or fluid on the floor or any hard surface.

i can perform in front of a thousand spectators, but i'll stutter when the tape is being rolled (recording).

i scored almost full mark for speech in MUET, but i scored 24/75 for essay writing.

i speed off on a car, but i can't get over the incident of shooting off into the paddy field when Ayah, Ahmad, and i rode the motor, hence, explaining my motorcyclophobia.

i'm able to prick someone's finger, i don't mind letting my blood taken, and i pierced myself on the lip, but i can't bring myself to look at the needle as it penetrates my skin.

i can't tolerate lactose AAARRGGHH!!

eating KFC after 11.00p.m will result in getting persistent diarrhoea for a day.

i can eat a lot, but please don't rush me while doing so. i didn't seem to progress in the past years if you want to talk about eating rapidly.

i have the habit of talking crappy stuff and doing silly things, but i can't dump my table manners away... regardless of my whereabouts.

my appetite can never be challenged even when i'm sick, drowsy, or at anytime, any place.

i'm almost never punctual since kindergarten.

Friday, September 26, 2008


already home for eid ul-fitr, but it feels like something is lacking somewhere, somehow. it's usually seeing umi and ayah smiling at me as i arrive at Subang Airport, but this time... it was the complaints of a taxi driver that greeted my brother, Ahmad, and i. hm... takpa la. pokcik drebar pun ada time tensyen dia.

weirdly but oftenly happens... i'm missing the hectic life back at USM. i even thought of going to Music Room and jam with Andi Rauf and Onn Azli just now, but then... i reminded myself - Andi giving me a call, "Z, kau di mana? aku duduk di bilik lpas tu tak tau apa nak buat. mari la (dengan loghat Sabahan)", is something that happened yesterday. i'm already home and currently lazing around, doing nothing that is productive and the rest of the Stuck crews already have their plan. mwumwumwu T_T Subang feels so different now. the changes didn't feel so pleasant.

oh yea, i forgot again... 4 days ago, Bob, Wan, Onn, and i performed for our MedDen batch. haa... how i miss Apple Danish. mwumwumwu again T_T everybody's busy

Bob, Andi, and Onn invited me to form a band with them. just to fill our time and stuff... and i accepted. i need a place to channel out my stress and i guess this one here may serve for that purpose. nevertheless, studying will always be prioritized. tapi kenapa reject invitations yang sebelum ni yah? hm... apa-apa pun, kami bakal masuk battle of the bands. harap- harap okay nanti.

i can smell bubur lambuk that Akak is cooking :D conditioned salivary secretion, meng! cirit or die!!!

Selamat Hari Raya Eid Ul-Fitr!!! :D

hints hints hints :D

Sunday, September 21, 2008

busy busy busy, and only 3 days to go!

number of post in a month is now down to ~4 posts from the former ~10 posts- a relatively reliable measurement of how hectic my life is. tonight, i have to attend breaking fast with the Vice Chancellor (VC) and as a batch leader, the Dental School has gave me direct order to attend it. haish... macam agak malas.

next, got a meeting with him or sumthing - i have to clarify about this with the academic office. if i had to attend it... then, i should be worried. i'm not sure if i can hide my annoyance towards the VC. it's the same case as meeting with the Campus Director. everytime i look at each of them, images of how horrible the hostel and the system are will flash in front of my eyes and next thing i know is i got all angry -_-"

tomorrow, MedDen (medic & dental students) year 2 will be having a similar event just among us. at first, i thought it'd be sumthing like dine and dash, but i was proved wrong by the committee (surprisingly, i'm part of them). there are performances involved. sekali lagi, anda terpaksa menonton saya buat persembahan bersama kugiran. haha... lame sungguh. organizing it is another thing... cik Z, anda harus bersemangat demi semua!

next, Majlis Hari Raya anjuran Majlis Pelajar Desasiswa. again, the VC will be there as one of the VIPs. i was invited to perform there and it appears that i have not much choice and... frankly, i kind of enjoy the adrenaline rushing and stuff. what am i talking? lame sungguh sekali lagi.

then, Majlis Hari Raya anjuran Persatuan Pelajar Pergigian (PSG). sumhow, i'm part of the committee of PSG which indirectly gave me the responsibility to organize the event. just to add more job to me, the YDP gave me hints sumthing like, "... saya lebih suka band sebagai persembahan...". hm... ok. got the message, thank you. i'm very very very worried if the people will start getting bored watching me performing. sat lagi ada yang fikir, "haish... budak ni lagi. kerja pun tarik-tarik tali gitar je. aku pun boleh. cest!". wahhh risau, dodol!

next, have to check on year 1 dental students. i honestly wish that they will be better than us and i'll help in any way i can to accomplish that! go, go, Power Rangers! Mighty morphin Power Rangers!

oh yah, lupa... my initial purpose on posting this is actually... to show some tshirt designs i made for this year PSG tshirt. dah jadi Exco Grafik, kena la buat kerja. Click on the pictures to view them in larger scale.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

freedom of speech?

i'm not sure whether i'm being too naive to want integration between races so much or what... just when i hoped some things would change (for good) with the 'oppositions' taking over 30% of the country, everything is turning into turmoil. not only fiercer quarrels between the opposition and government, but also among the people themselves.

when did these racism craps start to show up? i'm very curious... what's the aetiological factor here? is it the longed freedom of speech? see... some demanded for the abolishment of ISA for the sake of freedom of speech, but they are doing the very things that say out loud that they don't deserve to have it. blog is undeniably too good to be true and hey, it's already showing its true colours now. say... i would never agree with any blogger that downrightly toyed with Islam and the Prophet (peace be upon him) whether he/she gave out interesting political posts or not. wrong is wrong and right is right. there's no such crap as "it's wrong, i know, but it sounds right... i guess it's okay then". rather than having such nonsensical tolerance... i personally think it's better to keep it for the unity of our multiracial country.

also... is it wrong to have jawi writings on just a few signboards despite the fact that we have been using it since... even before we achieved independence? well, someone proposed to replace it with tamil and chinese writings. i'm already sad to learn that jawi is being so forgotten that so many malays are able to read "Saya suka jawi", but not "ساي سوك جاوي". don't tell me we have to forget it forever by diminishing the the few surviving ones? come on, dude (but that person is not exactly a dude haha), we're already losing our identity so much. however, i personally don't mind having those two writings added, but don't kick out the former one. call me naive again, but at least i'm not giving up so fast like some others. tepuk dada tanya selera.

wow... i'm talking like a politician now. could it be that i'm finally opening myself up to politics? naaah, sorry, still not interested. i'm just trying to keep myself updated with the world's affair... or maybe the nation's affair at least. i refuse to be an ignorant adult who's only interested with self affair, fun, being all emo and melancholic, and nothing else. ask yourself... when was the last time you checked profile networking account such as Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, etc. and... ask yourself another question- when was the last time you read magazine, newspaper, or any online news. jangan sampai kita lupa keadaan saudara kita di luar sana.

Friday, September 5, 2008

10 hours of sleep is great!!

it has been long since i last got a good rest. 10 hours of sleep (accompanied by post-sleep backache), a good long bath, followed by Mozart's Pachabel Cannon in D playing on my lappie.

i find it amazing to find some blogs that honestly sound so happy and the blogger sounds so grateful too. recently, i've been having issues with being grateful. as most might have known, i don't come from a family with medicine, dentistry, or any science-related background. so i've always had my eyes on arts whether it's in the form of food, canvas, building etc, but i gave up my dreams on that to take on dentistry. i told myself that maybe i'll just work as a dental specialist to support me financially and next i can indulge myself with things that i had been wanting to have and do.

things started to lose its balance when a good friend of mine, John Teng, announced that he'll be giving up medicine for Land Economic studies in UK soon. today marks his departure from USM. there's a statement he made that gave me a mental earthquake of 7.9 on Richter scale. he said something like, "... well, i've been wanting to do this (land economic studies)...", and the only reason he chose medicine is to fill in the gap. truth to be told, i felt like shedding some tears at that very moment just the way i am right now.

i can't really figure out what kind of crap am i experiencing now. God gave me countless of chances and opportunities in lots of things. i had my chance to take architecture, but i ruined it with immature thoughts and lack of preparation. i had my chance on medicine, but i passed on it for a few reasons that i do not regret. i had my chance to take dentistry, and i'm currently working on it and now i'm having second thoughts?? can someone oliuken (if you read Street Fighter comics, you'll understand this) this spoilt brat?

you may call me a pathetic whiner, but i don't care. there are too many contradicting dialogues i've been having with so many people of so many levels- a lecturer said to me during my year 1 when she found out that i'm a dental student instead of medic, "kamu pelajar dental ke? alahai... sayangnya...". a friend said, "asal kau tak ambil medic eh? kau macam bagus dalam tu". another one said, "kita pun pelik kenapa awak ambil dentistry". then a relative said, "ada kawan *** cakap gaji initial dentist ni macam gaji guru je". the same person said, "alah, dentist ni tau pasal gigi je".

then, there are some other who are more matured in thinking such as Ayah. he said, "stick to dentistry. if that's the thing that you are passionate about, then stick to one. Don't be bothered by what others say". a friend who's also my coursemate, Han, said, "kita ada masa lebih nanti, masa year 4 & 5, and lepas kerja pun lagi senang". the Dean, Prof. Rashid told me, "we're not taking a second class course" and, "dentistry in USM is the toughest course in Malaysia. be proud if you can do it".

i should calm myself down a little bit.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

let us make something out of it this time

Alhamdulillah, the month of Ramadhan is back for good. i wish for this Ramadhan to be a better one compared to the last one. i wish i can do more good deeds and try to abandon my numerous bad habits. i wish i can devote myself to Allah more than before. i've been too obsessed with other things apart from my one and only Creator, but then... all talks, dreams, and hopes are no use without attempt to actually live them up. insya Allah.

it has been 13 days since my 20th birthday passed. it has been a great one for me. Ayah, Umi and Along gave me the craziest birthday present i've ever gotten in my whole life - a car. a Hyundai i10 to be called as my own. Along also bought me a cake and yet... he still asked me whether i want a birthday present. i have gotten more that i had ever wished for, my brother :') got a yellow Lomo cam from Wani too :D i haven't used it yet since it's too cute! haha~ and i got her EP for free, heh heh. makasih, Wani! got a self-decorated mug from Hazwan and Pali, pot pourri bag from Pang, and some other stuff too. got lots of birthday wishes that reminded me of one thing that i have forgotten for long - there are actually some people out there that care. i am not alone here. had a birthday celebration with USM friends at 1.00am with eye bags.

although some had said this to me or anything similar to it - "kesian kau eh, mak bapak kau selalu busy. macam terbiar", it doesn't mean a thing to me. they might be busy, but they always make up for it. besides, what they do is for the good of us too. all of my siblings and i are already adults anyway. we can take care of ourselves, insya Allah.

my wish for this birthday is for me to be hundreds times wiser than i was. i'll upload some pictures later.

p/s: can't wait for Raya! hihi