Monday, May 25, 2009

tidur sekejap tadi, harapku agar resahku hilang. bangun sahaja tadi, rasa hampa masih terperangkap dalam hati kecilku rupanya

This noon, just before Jijah, Fiza, and I embarked on our journey (to the lecture hall ja pun untuk dikuarantin sebelum peperiksaan OSPE) to lecture hall, we were surprised by a couple of seniors who just came back from receiving their Professional 3 (the very last paper in bachelor of dental surgery) result at the Dental School building. How ecstatic they were while showing us the letter that contained the result but what made me almost as ecstatic as they were (tipulah tu sama ekstatiknya dengan diorang) was... there was the long anticipated title, 'Dr.' in front of their name. Gahhhh~ happy gilsss mereka! Congrats ya, kakak sekalian :D

Nevertheless, I couldn't eliminate this solicitude trapped in me before and after I took my first paper. Little did I expect to hear such 'comforting words' (not!) from a person who I thought was a nice friend right before we entered the lab (the exam was conducted in lab). I was left perplexed. Do my efforts mean nothing to her? After all, they were nothing but beneficial to her. It was just a short conversation, but somehow, I was so disturbed by it (emo lah aku kadang-kadang, nak buat macam mana :P). Thus, I messaged Umi who is in Europe currently.

"Usah harap t.kasih manusia. Balasan Allah mngatasi segala. Ayah."

I guess I didn't find that very paper too easy T_T Argh!

"Bangun tidur, harapku dengan rasa tenang. Hampa masih lagi terperangkap dalam hati kecilku rupanya..."

For some reasons that I, myself, failed to completely comprehend... my spirit is relatively weaker compared to previous year. The start of phase 2 medical curriculum (3 phases altogether, 5 years duration) marks its take off. Well, yes, there are a few factors that might contribute to this pathological condition, but I'd better not write them down here. Being me, I didn't pay much attention to it. As long as I can make it through... but... little by little, it's eating me from the inside :( Thankfully, I found a bunch of people who seem to be able to cheer me up whenever I feel down. A few of them are in Subang and another fraction of them is here, in my university. Thank you, Allah, for lending them to me :)

Regardless of how weak, helpless, or sad I'm feeling currently, I still have responsibilities to execute. There isn't any way that's legal by the divine law can I escape from them, is there?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

bisakah berbisa?

Dah nak berhabuk dah blog aku. The past few weeks were so hectic I could barely breathe (tipu ja ni). Kerja itu ini, tapi layakkah aku merungut? Teringat kata Incik Azmi (our former Phase 2 Dental clerk) masa aku secara 'tersengaja' mengeluh tentang perkara yang sama di pejabat akademik. Katanya, "Ai... Kalau tak nak penat tak payah jadi pelajar", memang kasi terasa ni.

Oh well, let's start with the main event of last week - what else if it's not... (EDITED FOR A FEW REASONS. SORRY.)
Oh yeah, before I forget... we (Bob, Rauf, Hazwan, and I) performed at the event. Truthfully, I had never performed five songs for any event and gosh, it was nerve wrecking since I only memorized one of the songs (baru berlatih satu kali kot!). Gahhh! Kantoi tengok nota muzik atas lantai lagi. Tapi... kemudiannya ada rasa sedih sikit. After the event ended, Onn gave me his electrical guitar. Although I refused to accept it, that could only mean one thing - he's leaving the band :( Benar-benar seorang 'family man'. Tapi masih sedih rasa hati kecil aku.

Sebelum aku lupa sekali lagi... to one of the Stuck crew... she who stayed and listened patiently to my every nonsensical whines... who had experienced so much at such a young age and for that, I highly respect her...
Anith!!! Selamat hari jadi ke-21!

Jumpa di Subang! Dan aku sayang kau sama ja macam dulu :D Dan aku tak sabar nak ber'karaoke' lagi sama kau dan Izzi!

Umi and Ayah left for Europe already. Cemburunya aku. Berani pula aku luahkan rasa cemburu pada Umi. Akibatnya...

Berikut adalah perbualan antara Zahirah dan Uminya melalui khidmat pesanan ringkas :

Zahirah : Umi, minta tlg kirim salam dkt Ayah skali ya. Hv fun kt sana!
(Jealoused, jealoused) salam!

Umi : Yr time will come 2. When u're old like me n successful.

Adehhh... tak tahu nak reply apa dah lepas tu XD Yang pasti, Wani dan aku pula akan pergi ke Indonesia awal Jun nanti. Merasa sikitlah aku bercuti. Habislah kena jaga Wani lepas ni kalau dia pening lalat. Kah kah kah! Chill, chilleks, Wani. Sebelum apa-apa, aku mesti sediakan sekarton oral rehydration salt (ORS), minyak Cap Kapak satu tangki, dan Mi Ruski (boikot Maggi ^_^) satu kotak sebelum tekanan darah aku jatuh 80/50mmHg sekali lagi akibat keracunan makanan di Indo. Marabahayaaa!

Exam is so near that I could feel it tickling me (tipu lagi lah ni. Tapi, benar dalam imaginasiku). Masih sibuk tulis blog lagi di sini. Jadi, ciao cincau, doakan saya ya!

Friday, May 1, 2009

shokku shokku and see you in Subang or wherever it shall be, Jamboo!

SHOCKED! seriously, seriously shocked as my friend/band member, Incik Onn Azli, told me over the phone that he's about to be married to another fellow friend, Sarah *jaw dropped*, but really, really, I am so happy for them ^_^ He's one very responsible man, that... I can bet on, although he's quite playful and childish (which explains why I was so shocked) at times -_-" So, we'll (Rauf, Onn, & I) be performing at his wedding ceremony on 16th May 2008. Look forward to that-te kudasai :D

Had one helluva night the day before yesterday with Jamboo (Nik Fahmi) and his two sisters, Aisyah, Nik Hamster, Wiki (@ Akmal), and Mus. What differs it from our previous night outs? TRUTH OR DARE GAME, but then, since it was a promise made among us to keep what were said at that night to ourselves, therefore, I can't publish them here. mwuu... And yeah, thanks guys for that night :) I enjoyed our cam-whoring session at Bulatan Kota Bharu the most (apart from whatever came from Jamboo before that haha)! And another thing - Well, Jamboo, you had finally left USM for good, so I wish you all the best in architecture and whatever you are about to do. Jangan sombong di Subang hee hee ;D

Exam's about 24 days away and I'm here pouring craps into cyberspace. Oh, how I wish to see Mel, Anith, Kishie, Hannah, Maisarah, Farhanah, Thirah, Pija, and Syawa. Hurts a little bit to see pictures of them having get-togethers and I'm here clogged in an over-occupied small room and complaining of space poverty. Tak apa, belajar dulu, belajar dulu, kemudian baru main-main habis-habis dengan mereka masa cuti... Holiday... My end of second year hols will last for only 10 days which gives another reason for me to feel so devastated again. And I'll be off to Bali with Along, Wani, and Ahmad insya Allah, for 5 days during my hols which leaves me another 5 days to hang out with them. Hm... I'd better make good use of it.

And I'm so so so happy that Mel's about to further her studies in Malaysia. Yeaaay!