This noon, just before Jijah, Fiza, and I embarked on our journey (to the lecture hall ja pun untuk dikuarantin sebelum peperiksaan OSPE) to lecture hall, we were surprised by a couple of seniors who just came back from receiving their Professional 3 (the very last paper in bachelor of dental surgery) result at the Dental School building. How ecstatic they were while showing us the letter that contained the result but what made me almost as ecstatic as they were (tipulah tu sama ekstatiknya dengan diorang) was... there was the long anticipated title, 'Dr.' in front of their name. Gahhhh~ happy gilsss mereka! Congrats ya, kakak sekalian :D
Nevertheless, I couldn't eliminate this solicitude trapped in me before and after I took my first paper. Little did I expect to hear such 'comforting words' (not!) from a person who I thought was a nice friend right before we entered the lab (the exam was conducted in lab). I was left perplexed. Do my efforts mean nothing to her? After all, they were nothing but beneficial to her. It was just a short conversation, but somehow, I was so disturbed by it (emo lah aku kadang-kadang, nak buat macam mana :P). Thus, I messaged Umi who is in Europe currently.
"Usah harap t.kasih manusia. Balasan Allah mngatasi segala. Ayah."
I guess I didn't find that very paper too easy T_T Argh!
"Bangun tidur, harapku dengan rasa tenang. Hampa masih lagi terperangkap dalam hati kecilku rupanya..."
For some reasons that I, myself, failed to completely comprehend... my spirit is relatively weaker compared to previous year. The start of phase 2 medical curriculum (3 phases altogether, 5 years duration) marks its take off. Well, yes, there are a few factors that might contribute to this pathological condition, but I'd better not write them down here. Being me, I didn't pay much attention to it. As long as I can make it through... but... little by little, it's eating me from the inside :( Thankfully, I found a bunch of people who seem to be able to cheer me up whenever I feel down. A few of them are in Subang and another fraction of them is here, in my university. Thank you, Allah, for lending them to me :)
Regardless of how weak, helpless, or sad I'm feeling currently, I still have responsibilities to execute. There isn't any way that's legal by the divine law can I escape from them, is there?