Thursday, October 22, 2009

heart beat

Finally, we're (those in Kelantan, Kedah, and Terengganu) approaching weekends :) It's de-stress time, but... Mus, Elly, and other Health Sciences students are about to enter their study week which means exams are looming over them. So, I'm not sure whether dragging them to either Cherang or Ridel RL will be a good idea. Uncle Rezza is away to Nilai. Basically, almost everybody isn't available except for Roy and Ifa.

In conclusion.................... to go out or not to go out? For a start, I have tons of studies to do and Mr. Brain is functioning better than it had been in weeks, input is increasing (although it hasn't fully restored), finally! Praises to God, my life is returning to its balanced state. It's a slow process, but I think I can live with that :)

I may or may not break down again while facing my 'tests', but in the mean time, please be kind and support me ya now that I had lost a few people's support? Douzo!

Am still trying to unstick the pages of my Snell's Clinical Neuroanatomy textbook. Gah... I already severed so many pages in that process bare-handedly, should really think of another method. SOON. The book still smells of coffee.

"... dia ada banyak side-effects. Cubalah withdraw gradually, eh?", recalling what Ese had said about these antidepressants I'm taking. He's right (and I dare not argue with him since he's already a final year medical student), but... I'd rather vomit everyday than having my mood and studies going down the drain. Sekarang tak dapat makan nasi lebih daripada separuh senduk sekali makan. Tak apalah... lauk lain kan ada lagi. Ini pun masih rasa nak muntah. It feels like... someone is twisting my stomach and choking me lightly. In the same time... I'll have to remind myself again and again to always remember The Creator as advised by so many people. I might do this hateful act again in the future, but I'll try to slowly stop the habit.

Let's just say... I need time and not force.

1 comment:

FurBall said...

jom lah mlm ini..ko g lah tanya sama elly..