Friday, October 30, 2009


Today, I vomited a lot. Heck lots of vomit, and my antidepressants were out quite some time ago, which means I hadn't been taking them nor am I taking hematinics (supplementary for things to make your blood). But still... I think my lactose intolerance is worsening with time. Dude, makan roti pun perut mula buat drumroll. Cabaran.

Today, my insomnic (difficulty in sleeping or staying asleep) episode is haunting me... once again. It was hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) for a few days. I slept for almost 20 hours per day. Last morning, I woke up acceptably early and yet despite countless attempts to get back to sleep since a few hours ago, here I am, wide awake, looking at the computer. Kalau dapat tidur pun tadi, 4.00pagi+ pasti bangun kembali. Dan bangun lagi kemudiannya. Dan bangun lagi. Dan bangun lagi. Cabaran.

Today, my appetite is killed yet again. You know how hard for that to happen since... I can still eat a lot even when I'm as sick as a dog, hence, explaining my weight haha. Malam semalam, selera makan kembali, pagi ini, selera makan mati. Semua yang dimakan pun mahu keluar kembali. Tolonglah pehe... I paid for those food. Duitku terbazir begitu sahaja. Cabaran.

Today, the size of my occipital lymph node (numerous organs in your body involved in activating your white blood cells and in my case, it's the one situated at the back of your neck, near your skull) hasn't reduced as far as I'm concerned. It's still tender (painful to touch). So whuzza bigga deal? It had been palpable (can be felt) for months already but had never grown this big although it's still not visible. Cabaran.

Today, I'll be seeing my parents, insya Allah. Alhamdulillah, my mother is finally accepting the fact that I'm having major depression + initially posttraumatic disorder. Ada yang memaksa untuk cepat sembuh, tapi hakikatnya, purata masa yang diperlukan untuk recovery adalah agak-agak 3 bulan. Jadi, berhenti memaksa. Had been worrying that she thought I'm faking things like I used to. I wasn't and am not a nice person, truthfully. Tetapi, aku terpaksa jumpa mereka sambil memakai bandage. Cabaran.

Today, I'll be seeing a general practitioner. Hopefully his/her attitude will not be as bad as the previous one I saw a few days ago. Cabaran.

Today, this very second, I am once again writing down my complaints. I like to complain, don't I? Cabaran.

p/s: I slept around 5am. It's 7.00am right now and I just woke up a few minutes ago and it's sorta tough to get back to sleep now. Tolcha Tolcha Told yaaa.

1 comment:

Fær.han/Unown F/Gyan said...

So how la now? Get better soon =p