Monday, October 12, 2009

tembak ja lah diri sendiri

The thing about behaving so boyish is... people tend to underestimate how sensitive you are and this very fact eats me up gradually. Kalau kecil hati, mereka kata, "Tak rock lah". Kalau tak kecil hati, mereka kata, "Gila layan kau ni", dan mereka terus melakukan perkara yang menyakitkan hati. Tapi saya kan dah dewasa. Perlukah untuk terlampau tunjuk perasaan sendiri? It seems like (it's just an observation okay)... the more idiotic and fragile you behave, the more feminine you are. Hopefully, I'm wrong about this. Tetapi, kerana terlampau menyorokkan perasaan sebenarlah emosiku jadi lesu. Sudah dua hari saya tidur sambil menangis saja. Rasa agak bodoh pun ada juga lebih-lebih lagi bila melihat mata yang tampak serupa pau kari ayam. Rasa seperti langsung tak mahu balik Subang pun ada. Rasa seperti mahu melarikan diri ke tempat yang tiada siapa pun boleh jumpa saya pun ada. Tangan kiri sudah penuh. Semalam, kiranya memang tak makan apa-apa kecuali beberapa keping kerepek dan 4 sudu kuey teow yang digulung. Hm... benda-benda macam inilah yang semakin bunuh selera aku.


Anyway, there's this person who typed a word that I never expected to come from him/her. Punyalah chaokia aku sekarang, itu pun boleh menangis. Truth to be told, all of a sudden, I felt like I lost all the respect I had once gained. Whoa... are these few days about losing stuff? Whoops, I forgot... are these few months about losing stuff? Hopefully tomorrow (today, technically) will be a brighter one for me, but... I'm not sure about that. Not with eyes this swollen.

6 comments:

Elly Elinna said...

lets pray together. :)

FurBall said...

am i d one who said the thing that make u feel bad???mwuuu...

FurBall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zahirah ardy said...

insya Allah, Elly.

Mus, tak, tak, tak. bukan kalian pun.

FurBall said...

i feel so bad..mwuuuu

FurBall said...

i feel so bad..mwuuuu