Thursday, January 29, 2009

cutiday in subang


Syefah's surprise birthday part at May's place


happy belated burrrrfday to 2 dear friends,
Syefah (wearing burfday ribbons in the picture above) and Syawa whom i made friends with since i was 7.

it's hols and the scholarship is in and that can only mean one thing........ SHOPPINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG not...? no wonder the amount of money we received was tremendously more than before. rupa-rupanya Pejabat Bendahari tak potong yuran lagiii *kuang kuang kuang*, so now i've got to change myself from the i-couldn't-care-less Zahirah to i-am-responsible-at-least-financially Zahirah. i am continuously chanting, "You can do it, Zahirah," in my heart silently. i refuse to become yet another Subang kid to be labelled as 'parents' parasitic leech' who sucks out her parents' money as much as she likes. that certainly is dangerously addictive :P


so, having to do so, i'm even thinking twice on buying an external hard disk although it costs only RM200-210 for 250GB at Low Yatt Plaza, Jalan Imbi, a place i drove Jijah to get a new handphone for her and an MP4 for her younger brother. thinking of it carefully, i'll most probably use it mainly to store more movies and dramas that i might not watch again after one round of doing so. betul kan, rakan-rakan sekalian? but my Photoshop files are consuming space quite much too. whatever they are, semua pun lebih kurang untuk hiburan aku ja, jadi... penting sangatkah untuk aku beli external hard disk ni? tak kot... lagipun, nanti lagi kuat berhibur ja, padahal, baru ja beritahu diri sendiri nak dapatkan keputusan yang lagi chun... and i know myself too well. i'm not very good at controlling myself especially in the sense of indulging myself. lagi baik kalau tak beli.


anyhoo, will be going home in 2 days by bus. the previous 14-hours train ride was quite okay, although i had to suffer intense backache after that, but the duration is too torturing, therefore, i chose to go back to the university by bus. kena gelak dengan Umi ja laaa.


i'm looking forward to jamming with fellow band members in university :D sebelum ni ingatkan diorang tamau jam sudah. rupa-rupanya, cerita betulnya ialah... masing-masing tunggu masing-masing untuk buka mulut ajak jam. masing-masing ingat band members tamau jam, hahahahahaa~ okay, i shall speak out my mind more from this time onwards, okay?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

break me

itu cuma tajuk lagu Jewel yang sedang aku dengar sekarang.

all of a sudden, i am overwhelmed with an unexplained sadness. gundah gulananya hati kecil ini, tetapi... bagaimanakah bisa hamba menenangkannya tanpa menjejaki akar umbi permasalahan ini?

anyhoo, i've added yet another element to my blog which is the 'Dari Imaginase Ke Kertas' segment, just for me to put a few drawings that i chose to colour using Photoshop. please bear in mind that i am still a noob at this, so feel free to comment on those drawings and editing techniques. i'm hoping someone can teach me more on this. learning everything by myself kurang shiok dan kurang pantas. the outline of those drawings are very rough since i didn't scan those, but captured their picture using cameraphone in order to edit them using laptop. aku bukannya anak pengecap duit, boleh beli scanner, letak dalam bilik. kah kah.

apart from that, today shall mark my first time going home by train, insya Allah :DDD hahahaha, bajet jadi Harry Potter ahhh! kita kena 'adventurous' kan? cuba try test macam-macam, syiok!! this time, it'd be different since coursemates, Jijah and Kila will be tagging along ^_^ they will be staying at my house and i shall be their tourist guide for the whole week. despite having to do so, ironically, i'm looking forward to it since... entahlah... macam menarik ja. hopefully everything will be going smoothly, insya Allah. amiin...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

to Jeram Pasu we went!

what was i thinking to drive to a waterfall in Jeram Pasu during a 4 hours gap between a cancelled lecture and a clinical teaching class?? 'to kill the stress of waiting for my result to be pasted on the notice board' might be the answer. it had been quite some time since i last went to a waterfall. this one here is quite small in size, but very beautiful in its own way. i was glad to come there at a time when most people were too busy working and having lunch. God certainly is amazing in all ways.


JEAH! a message of peace from Jeram Pasu!
anyhoo, what the heaven... JPA informed our student body that the scholarship will be given before Chinese New Year.................................................................................... hampeh-dot-com-merakapundeng-tade-efficiency-tak-menghargai-kitorang-langsung-berat-sebelah-cakap-tak-serupa-bikin-poyo-bengangnya-aku!-ingat-kitorang-anak-pengecap-duit-yang-sentiasa-ada-duit-untuk-back-up-in-case-scholarship-tak-sampai-sampai-mati punya JPA!!!!! is this the way our government shows their appreciation to us for working our arse off in our field of studies? macam ni, tak payah bagi biasiswa terus pun takpa juga, nanti dah habis belajar 5 tahun, dapat bachelor degree dalam dentistry, aku mahu lari ke swasta pun takpa lah juga. serious-shiznit-ly aku tak suka bergantung pada duit Umi dan Ayah. seronokkah pekerja kerajaan di'label' sebagai 'suka makan gaji tapi tak efisyen'? URUSAIIIIIIIII!!! thank God Umi and Ayah are capable to support my needs and my.... not so needed things, but how about others who are less capable of doing so?? goverment ain't doing much for us eh... so much for an Apex university... i can barely see the benefits that come out of it apart from improvised landscapes. pengiktirafan yang setakat ini terlampau gah jika dibandingkan dengan keadaannya yang sebenar.

kasi isi minyak full tank boleh?

so, the long awaited and dreaded day had passed. the day second year students of dental and medical schools would get to know their result for the previous Selanjar 1 medical exam for phase 2, and that means, i was not excluded. Alhamdulillah, it was okay... well, at least i got more than what i paid for... and so i personally think, but i'm sure Allah knows best. truth is, my first reaction was, "whaaattt, i lost to so many people!" but to think of it rasionally again (now that i'm less emotional), this shall be a test for my patience, a big slap for my ego to pull me back on earth, and another round of booster for my hilang-minyak-period that had started since i was about to sit for my Professional 1 exam.

phow, honestly, despite repeatedly telling fellow friends and juniors to revise the lecture notes the night after the lecture was given, i myself had stopped doing so since entering second year. that makes one factor of my current result. next is i lost control of my manners. cursed quite a lot this year, kurang jaga perkataan, perbuatan, niat, and kurang jaga pandangan juga. then... i started studying properly for the exam only about 2 weeks beforehand. i studied about 2-3 hours only per day. apart from that, i also failed to balance between the posts i've been holding (and held) and studies. i must start being a better year leader and student.

you know what? i can come up with so many excuses. the fact that dental students were badly intimidated during the few months in second year, or maybe i can blame our previous dean for implementing an intergrated-curriculum in dentistry (dental students are supposed to learn full medicine and dental subjects in the same time) in USM. next, i shall turn to the Health Campus Director for providing accomodation which is relatively poor in quality to us. as making sense as they might be, there is no use of doing so. i am working my way towards being a professional. to give excuses for poor performance is absolutely unprofessional. whatever it is, whatever my problems are, i must gather myself and focus back on achieving my aims by any means as far as my religion permits. and for that... i shall resume my old habits during my first year and work as hard and smart as i did when my enthusiasm was at its peak. takkanlah aku nak jadi hangat-hangat tahi ayam. baru ada sedikit masalah, dah nak putus asa. baru turun markah sikit, dah nak kecewa tak nak belajar langsung, padahal, semuanya salah kita juga sebab kurang usaha. mungkin kita nak tenangkan hati dengan memberitahu diri sendiri, "Ala... kita dah usaha sebaiknya. nak buat macam mana. dah takdir,". COME OOOOON! betulkah kita dah 'usaha sebaiknya' dengan sebenar-benarnya?? atau... kita rasa ja diri dah cukup berusaha, tetapi pada hakikatnya, orang lain berusaha lebih kuat daripada kita? atau mungkin... ada seketika kita lupa bahawa tujuan sebenar kita masuk ke universiti adalah untuk jadi pelajar yang cemerlang dalam setiap segi? okay, sebenarnya, tu apa yang aku mahu cakap pada diri sendiri. kebelakangan ni, kuat betul aku tipu diri sendiri. apalah gunanya...

oleh itu, Zahirah dan yang lain! kamu boleh buat! berdiri semula! insya Allah!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

could this be a sign?

the statistics of annual retail sales of America for 2008 had dropped to -0.1% from the former +4.7% in 2007! and consumer spending is indeed the main economic activity in United States. with enough strength, insya Allah, together we'll push America deeper down in its economic crisis! currently, among the main factors of this are 'tight credit, rising unemployment and growing economic worries' (source : Foreign Press Association, AFP). what more if we give them another blow by boycotting their retails as much as we can. go on, my brothers, sisters, friends... continue boycotting American and Israeli products! each cent, each effort counts. only God may repay you.

do not feel any sense of guilt by doing so towards the country which claimed that what happened in Palestine right now is to be blamed on Hamas and Israel is only trying to protect itself. to hell with protecting itself! is shelling (shelling = to shoot metal cases which are packed with explosives) a United Nations (UN) headquarters which holds food and humanitarian supplies for Palestinian refugees considered as 'protecting one's self'?? so the Israeli defense minister replied with a lame excuse which was 'grave mistake' and apologised..... the heck? Israel must be thinking that all of us has brains as small as a peanut (though scientifically, size of brain does not determine its intelligence :P). just because the Jews was indeed declared as the most intelligent race, doesn't mean other races are downright stupid. so, Israel claimed that its intention in this is only to totally wipe out Hamas's ability to shoot rockets. so........ bombing hospitals, Red Cross and other medical officials would help reaching that objective? how about half of the 1,100 dead Palestinians are actually citizens? gosh, how more shallow-thinking can one be to believe in the words of Israel?

just read this, "We warned the Israelis hour by hour through the night of the vulnerabilities here as the shells came closer and closer and shrapnel was coming into the compound on a regular occasion," Ging said. "Nonetheless, we have now been subjected to these direct hits." (John Ging is the director of UNRWA. source : CNN). to get a better view on this, perhaps you can read the aid worker of Mercy Corp's diary. i can't do much to help my brothers and sisters in Palestine apart from sending prayers for the good of them, boycotting American and Israeli products as much as i can, and writing this blog with hope that more of you guys out there will join my little effort in helping them, insya Allah. they are very small efforts compared to what the syahids, syahadahs, and muslim fighters are doing in Palestine, but they are meaningful. let those in Palestine attack Israel physically and mentally, and let us who are outside and far from the war attack its economy and help waking those who are still asleep. we can do it, insya Allah!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

perasaan yang indah



*achiooo!* i brought flu as a souvenir from Kampung Raja, Besut, Terengganu (=_=;) well, my 5 days stay in Kampung Raja - another chapter in our CFCS program is now over. hm... i am overwhelmed with so many feelings right now! happy and relieved that it's over and i can finally get a long rest. sad to say goodbye to my foster family (geez... it feels weird to write that). extremely touched by their care and kindness. today, my foster mother, Mok, called me. she told me We who is my foster father closed their bedroom door before going to sleep because it's too quiet outside of the room without our (Yanti, Yiying, and I) presence :'( undoubtedly, i enjoyed my stay there.


that's Amsya, who was previously thought to be a girl but turned out to be football maniac boy who easily gets attracted to camera flash (which explains this bright picture). hey, he should be thankful to be the third baby to be carried by me, hoho. see... i have this unexplained fear of carrying babies. mwu mwu mwu. risau-risau kalau terjatuhkan atau terbuat diorang sakit. babies look so delicate. the first picture shows Mok, We, and their granddaughter, Insyirah.

i cannot thank my group members and their respective foster families more for making this activity so enjoyable that i forgot to charge my handphone and take pictures in the first few days. just imagine, 3-4 families wanted to hold a farewell party for all of us, but of course, as Tok Penghulu, Pok Yazid, said he's having one for us, his order overrode the rest, lol!

what consumed our time the most during the stay was interview. we had to interview about 100 houses. of course it wasn't all ups. there are a few downs here and there, such as getting chased away by about 4-5 families, getting critisized unreasonably all of a sudden, having to hear our field of studies being insulted, and knocking again and again on a few doors without being answered despite its residents were obviously in the house. that very last one had my knuckles all red for a few days T_T and for the first time in my car's life, it rolled on cat poop. kasihan Kuruma ku.

anyway... a few days ago, the family cat, Tommy, died after suffering a congenital disease... and my beloved rabbit, Danish, died too quite some time ago due to some sort of tumor. i didn't write about him (to hell with grammar for referring an animal as 'him') earlier because... perhaps, i couldn't bring myself to write about Danish. i had been keeping him through so many phases of my life. to lose him now, it hurt a lot. just shortly after getting to convince Umi from giving him to my aunty... oh well, i should've seen this coming already. all livings will soon meet death. it's just a matter of time and God's will. daripadaNya kita semua datang dan kepadaNya juga kita semua kembali.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

to have an inside look

'masuk kampung' which makes a part of Community Family Case Studies (CFCS) program is about to start in 5 hours. i'm too tired to write much... pray for the good for all of us. pray for the safety and victory of Palestinians and may Allah crush the damned Israelis. 777 Palestinians had died. that's the latest number i knew. almost 200 deaths in approximately 3 days. i can do nothing much here apart from sending prayers to God for the good of Palestinians and boycotting American and Israeli products. you could help too, you know... if you are determined enough... and if you care for your muslim brothers and sisters... and if you care for humanity...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

while most of us are too busy with our own affairs...

... our Palestinian brothers and sisters are being brutally and ruthlessly attacked in Gaza Strip by the damned Israelis. may Allah bring the abominable Israelis to destruction and grant victory to Palestinians. Ameen...

"What's the big deal? Middle East is always in chaos anyway", a few ignorant ones might ask. today marks the 12th day of almost non-stop invasion upon Gaza Strip, a land which is rightfully Palestinians', by Israel. 550 is the latest number of Palestinians died reported by Associated Press (AP). the number started to increase rapidly especially as Israel started launching ground incursion (=a sudden invasion) on Gaza City which is the largest Palestinian city. since that city is very densely populated, any attack would kill many!

according to Israel, this will only come to an end if Hamas stops firing rockets. again, the world blindly swallowed the words of a race that has been breaking its promises numerous times. America, the self-proclaimed world police, did nothing much in stopping its ally when all these while they had been overreacting to things that were not as alarming as this great massacre i.e. North Korea's nuclear program, development of weapon of mass destruction in Iraq, etc. i'm not sure what American president-elect, Obama, was thinking when he said this, "the loss of civilian life in Gaza and Israel is a source of deep concern for me", while still holding to his principle which is 'he would adhere to his principle that only U.S. President George W. Bush would speak for American foreign policy at this time, but said he would have plenty more to say after his January 20 inauguration' (source : Yahoo! News). i personally believe that certain principles should be let go if it is gravely in need. it's safe to say the current condition calls for that desperately.

it's extremely disappointing to witness many Islamic countries playing very small roles in stopping this. this is no longer an issue between Jews and Muslims alone. this is a clear violation of human rights. what's the use of those organisations formed with objectives such as 'to deliver human rights'. i had long given up on United Nations. granting America veto is absolutely a foolish step. America isn't able to control itself. just look at its citizens! Alhamdulillah, according to Malaysian Prime Minister, Pak Lah, OIC is about to gather its 6 top members to tackle this crisis. i hope this will not end up as all talks and no action.

"What on earth do you want us to do?? We can't possibly go to Gaza and fight them bare-handed!!", you might be thinking this right now. of course, aids are not to be given only by physical means. do'a is a muslim's weapon. use it to its best. pray to Allah for the safety and victory of our muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine.

again i'll say. this is no longer an issue between Jews and Muslims alone. therefore, i call upon everybody regardless his/her religion to help Palestinians in any way that is possible. perhaps we can donate to Palestinians thing such as money. we could start with boycotting American products too. to those who had been doing some reading, you might already noticed the close association between America and Israel. it is a fact that the country with highest number of Jewish immigrants is United States. America had been funding Israel. that is not a surprise anymore. i know, it's hard to do so at a go especially when Israel and its allies are already dominating the world market, but doing it little by little will make a good start, insya Allah. i, myself, buy American products most of the time. well, i stopped drinking Coke and most sodas 2 years ago and that means a lot to me. please... send your prayers for the safety and victory of Palestinians. stop being a so bimbo, all melancholy about yourself, too busy with your own affairs, because there are many people out there losing their family members day by day. can you imagine yourself in their shoes?

Monday, January 5, 2009

almost a week, therefore, this shall be a long post lol

"... pelajar tahun satu Kejururawatan...", and so i heard the emcee introducing a girl i had thought to be a dental student. i could almost swear my heart stopped a beat and pumped madly after that. don't tell me my juniors performance had deteriorated to the point where they are starting to lose their confidence and change course... no... no... i felt extremely uneasy. a part of this is to be blamed on me for i had neglected my duties in assisting my juniors and a few responsibilities as the student leader. i have to start taking actions... i NEED to, now that Dr. Fadhli had given me full support in this and gave me full permission to use the lab in Dental School... i had set my aim to assist them as much as i can. thankfully, Ezzati, Yana, and Kila are willing to assist me in doing so. i shall recruit a few more friends to make this possible. insya Allah. i hope all of these will not end up with all talks and no action.


all these while, i had commented and observed other leaders making mistakes. although 'no mistake is wrong unless nothing is learnt from it' became one of my countless principles quite some time ago, i hate making mistakes myself, but i love the things i get to learn from them... priceless, really. ah, who doesn't -_-

SO! class had started. truthfully, i anticipated for dry lectures on topics such as 'Cara Menjadi Doktor Yang Gempak, Berwibawa, Beretika, Bersopan, Berkaliber, dan Segala Ber Yang Anda Dapat Fikirkan'... only to have tons of lectures on statistics, statistics, and statistics smacked on my face. OUCH! and yawn too (=_=;) nevertheless, i enjoyed Dr. Kamarul's lectures (although i slept a few times)... especially his jokes on his wife. there are so many married doctor couples out there. i wonder what do they talk about during meals. maybe the husband will start with, "Yang, daging ni lembut la. lagi lembut dari daging cadaver yang ada situs inversus dekat office tadi", and the wife will reply perhaps with, "Betul tu. daging ni selembut adipose tissue patient yang Yang perform liposuction tengah hari tadi". Hubby will reply with, "Oh, yang Yang cerita BMI 51.00348102018381238210 tu?". "Ha ah... nak muscle fatigue dah sedut semua lemak dia. tengok ni, tremor dah. esok pula Yang ada major operation. wahhh~ tachycardianya macam ni! palpitation dah ni", might be the answer of his spouse. then, hubby will probably respond with, "Eh, Yang, aaargh!!! periumbilical, colicky pain. macam intestinal obstruction je. atau tak kot, sebab Abang dah nak defecate dah ni. cau cincau!".

change of this nonsensical subject. oh yeah, i ate A LOT yesterday!!! almost non-stop evening onwards!!! first i ate kuey teow goreng pattaya, keropok lekor, and 1 goreng pisang. next was McD's choc sundae, followed by Nestle's Vienna Cafe Latte. Then, the MPI members persuaded me to buy some more food, and i bought a kiwi dadih and hotdog. aku tak tahu berapa kalori aku dah telan hari ni. no wonder my stomach is misbehaving yet again. surprise, surprise... NOT! it's 1.26a.m to be exact which means another new day is settling in according to Gregorian calendar. i hope i won't be eating as much as i ate yesterday. can't let those people persuade me on buying junk food anymore... except on my own will. see! there's always that 'except'. GAH!