Monday, March 8, 2010

do i look like Ryan's mom?

Phase 2 Professional exam is only 13 days away and I have to cover up 5-6 major blocks within these very few days................ hm... come to think of it... it's not like it's my first time. Patutlah Umi kata, "Hai! Dah third year pun nervous lagi??". YOSH! Come on, I'm gonna work my arse off, squeeze every brain juice I possess, score well, continue the winning streak, and give myself a gooooood treat during end of third year hols, insya Allah :) May all of us do well this time, may all of us do wayyyy better this time! Amiiin...

Change of mood

By the way, I'm very worried... somehow my depression seems like it's making a comeback. I feel sad at awkward times for no reason, no reason at all, I assure you! I'm getting more pesimistic from time to time. I'm starting to carry out maladaptive acts whenever I get stressed (it's not from studies, I assure you that too). I feel like leaving the people around me for good, gets easily agitated, and bladdah bladdah. Oh, Allah, please don't let it get to me :'( Please, not again, but I'm losing hope. Since I had had two episodes of it, statistically, the risk of me to develop my third episode is approximately 80%.

I'm glad that I'm writing this here because it means the risk of me to actually committing it is considerably lower than a person who doesn't tell it out to anyone. It freaks me out just like it always did - 'it' refers to the feeling of wanting to disappear. Just disappear into thin air. Poof. Coco Crunch.

No comments: