"Biadap tau kalau cakap dalam bahasa yang orang yang ada di sekeliling awak tak faham", quoting a teacher who taught me Malay language. I couldn't agree more.
I feel an extraordinary pleasant feeling everytime I see or talk to an old lady who lives in the opposite house. She's a Chinese lady, very active despite already in her golden age, wears batik most of the time paired with either kebaya nyonya or baju kurung kedah, and extremely generous with her smiles. I had never heard her talking in any Chinese dialect, not when I'm around. "She might be a Peranakan descendant. The environment during the old times must had been different", I said to myself, but later, as I enter secondary school, my thoughts are slowly moulded into more matured form. My Chinese and Indian friends did not make me feel isolated. Even if they were to talk in their respective dialect, they would explain their meanings to me, and at some point, they'd even teach me to speak in their mother tongue. Nevertheless, they did tell things straight to my face such as finding most Malays to be lazier than other races, the pressure they face from their own people, and etc. I find them refreshing.
Quoting John Thong, "Melayu malas sial", I held on to his words and tried to once again stand up after falling hard during SPM. If such thing were posted in Facebook (which have not existed yet during those times), I'm quite sure ridiculous groups would be formed and he'd be condemned by so many shallow-thinking people, but on a more positive way of thinking - he was right. Just look at the Malays of todays and compare them with our ancestors. We're trapped in our own illusion of security when in fact, the walls that had been protecting us are so cracked, it's just a matter of time for the whole thing to collapse. And when we actually feel one of the stones hitting our head, we'll point our fingers to others, as if it was them who threw it to us.
Nonetheless, as I enter university - to be 'culture-shocked' would describe it best. I had never felt such tense between races. I'm starting to get confused with the contents of my own Facebook noticeboard. I'm confused whenever I get stuck in a group discussion - too much miscommunication - it's like having chickens and ducks talking to each other. They both look quite the same, but the languages sound totally different. I started to point fingers to here and there, and finally to the government and myself. It's my own fault for not taking up any class for Mandarin, Cantonese, or Tamel language. It's the government's fault for approving special schools such as 'sekolah Cina' or 'sekolah Tamil'. It should've been an integrated education system all along. Mandarin and Tamel languages should've been made compulsory subjects for all 'sekolah kebangsaan'. It just angers me so much, for years and years already.
And here we are, advancing to nowhere and looking up to countries that we know too well ourselves aren't able to handle even their own affairs. What's the use of learning history for so long? Do we really need to consult they who have never been in our shoes?
"Constantly reminding us that our actions are the cause of all their problems
Pointing the fingers in every direction
Blaming their own nation for who wins elections
They've never contributed a fucking thing to the country they love to criticize"- M Shadows
I know I can't do much to others, but in the mean time, I think I'll try my best to buffer these negative energies due to the conditions I wrote about. And with this, I'd also like to mention how proud I am of my friends who I usually hang out with in Subang - Melissa for her outstanding performance in her field of studies which is accountancy, Anith for standing strong through numerous problems most of the kids of her age have never experienced before and is making it through her bachelor degree in landscape architecture, Athirah for changing for way better through these years and she too is an excellent student, and Farhanah a very humble person (contrary to the usual 'Subangian attitude') who's also making through her bachelor degree in chemical engineering and I'm quite sure she'll do us proud. She might even be a better chemical engineer than her father, amiiin.