Sunday, August 22, 2010

the moral was shaken today

I have stopped taking benzodiazepines, therefore my short term memory loss should have dissipated. Today, yet again, my own carelessness and ignorance failed me so badly. This morning, I couldn't stop my tears from dribbling down these plump cheeks while pacing along the corridor and into my car. I have exposed my weaker side to Dr. Tarmizi, our surgeon from Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II (HRPZ II), and disappointed him. I am so sorry, my most sincere apologies :( I couldn't make my voice sound steady as Dr Noor Azam Nasuha, the urologist who's coordinating our surgery posting, answered my desperate plea for help. Thank you, Mr. Azam (surgeons in HRPZ II prefer us addressing them as 'Mr.' for unknown reason). I couldn't thank you more. When you and Pang said, "Don't worry, don't worry", those were the most comforting words I could ask for. Nonetheless, I couldn't stop myself thinking of how much I had put my colleagues to disgrace. But I have learnt my lesson - although I might find a few others to be amazingly more ignorant than I am, I too can learn to be less ignorant and start taking my job and carrier more, more, more seriously. My colleagues have learnt their lesson too and I now learned to be firmer towards them. There is always room for improvement.

This evening's seminar session with Dr. Ng Sze How was a very much needed boost for my mood. I don't give a damn how I-couldn't-care-less-but-I-should've-cared-more-because-it's-my-job he made we think of ourselves. It was a good slap anyway, and his humour made it all easier to digest. "Name all solid organs in the abdominal cavity that may be damaged during trauma", he asked all of us. A few answered well, "Spleen", "Liver", "Kidney" and out of the blue, he shot at the three guys at the back - Teh, Yueming, and Yeap. "Eh, apasal kat belakang takde suara? You puasa juga ke? Yang kat depan puasa ni pun cakap lagi kuat". Suddenly, "Hah?", someone called from the back, "Stomach!", the 'someone' continued. Everybody went silent. Mr. Ng swings the huge microphone with some sort of yellow spongy head threateningly and said, "WHAT???? I think this is enough to cause concussion", he looked at the boy then at the mic.

I love surgery posting :) And I'm very sure which specialty I'd like to proceed with if I successfully get my DDS., insya Allah. We can plan and try our best, but the rest is always in Allah's 'hands'.

No comments: