Tuesday, November 30, 2010


So yesterday I was on my to the dental polyclinic as usual, about to prepare my dental chair for paediatric dentistry session when I bumped into the dean in an elevator. Gave my diplomatic smile, keh keh, until he turned to me and said, "Ah ha, I read your blog"............................. I seriously thought the elevator had suddenly stopped functioning. "Seriously, Dr???", I gasped! "Yes, I was searching about something and I came across your blog. It was good, keep up the good work", he smiled. I had to struggle at restraining myself from pressing on the 'open door' button repeatedly. I honestly think I wrote lots of silly things here, although I doubt he had the time to read it much... especially posts related to him. Ngeh ngeh ngeh.

A number of people posted in Facebook something about an increment in the price of Ron97 fuel - soon enough. Oh, man, not again!!! I obviously don't fill up Along's Kelisa tank with Ron97, but I do so when it comes to those Stream and Merc at home. Keringlah poket saya. Lepas ni kena mula diam-diam charge patient for treatment di poliklinik keh keh keh. Just kidding. Padahal sendiri mahu belajar :P

A few days ago, Wani wrote on my Facebook wall, "... and sorry asyik kacau kau. still not used to the fact that you're a doc who's busy with patients. -_-". Receiving text messages from her alone is enough to give me a boost for just any day, although I have to admit, I forget to reply back at times. Somehow I tend to enter my reply, then, something comes up and I automatically dump it into draft box. And her wall post reminds me of something too - how did I reach this point? MasyaAllah, thank You for Your limitless blessings. Truth to be told, sometimes thoughts such as, "I don't think I'm capable at doing this", or, "Am I ready for this?" swarm my mind, but if it's not now then when should it be? We can be demotivated at times, but just hold ourselves together and think of what's more important to us. We don't enter a university accepting zero responsibility and we live on others' money regardless how independent we think we are. So rather than drowning myself in miserable thoughts, I'd rather gain my strength and prepare myself better for the future. Ganbatte kudasai, minnasan to Zekkuchan!

Monday, November 29, 2010

C sharp minor

Was it pleuritic chest pain? It wasn't easy to inspire. But this could be just another thought :P Or maybe a perception without a stimulus. Or... an unshakable belief?? I'm not making any sense now :P

So today, I met my prosthodontic patient again - a very nice lady (elegant too!) indeed. And she told me she's now 18 week-pregnant! Subhanallah, what a good news, but truth to be told, my heart felt like it crumbled into pieces when I read the message, because I had her bitewing and periapical x-ray taken a month ago, and that means, it was during her first trimester (X-ray is prohibited for the first trimester unless under special circumstances). So I couldn't help but to hesitate at congratulating her and enquired a lot about undergoing fetal scan, and praises to God, really, praises to God, she said she underwent all the investigations and her fetus is A-ok :') Yes, I did enquire her regarding her pregnancy status before 'shooting' (taking x-ray) her, but she didn't know she was pregnant before last raya haji. This somehow made me think of a radical solution - for all women of child-bearing age to undergo urine pregnancy test (UPT), but I think... this is somehow ridiculous and costly, not to mention, time consuming (the interval between registration and treatment times is recorded for some sort of quality assessment). Besides, the radiation exposure for diagnostic purposes (in this case, x-ray) is way lower than the line drawn to cause miscarriage or affect the fetus itself (as mentioned in Pregnancy and Radiation Exposure article by Dr Robert Brent, 2009). Anyway, I am very glad that I completed a number of treatment plans for her today :) Hopefully her baby will thrive (what a weird word to use, but I know not of other more appropriate word, hoho). Alhamdulillah.

I'm in love with this course, undoubtedly. Just look at my previous posts. You're somewhat right, Mr. Paan :P

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

hand tremor

I love my hands. It USED to be very stable, has very very minimal tremor... until today T_T So I did my first mandibular (lower jaw) tooth extraction today. Thanks to the pretty boy, Yueming, who mocked me when I successfully blocked my partner's nerves but almost failed to target his next, I was excessively anxious to block my patient's inferior dental, lingual, and long buccal nerves (the nerves to be blocked/anaesthetise for extraction of teeth on lower jaw) today, but, "What the heck, just go on with it, Zahirah, you know the theory, did it once before, so why not now? Your patients aren't books, you know", I said to myself and Alhamdulillah, praises to Allah, I did it successfully today :) See, the failure rate of this type of nerve block is 15-20%, so I'm grateful that I haven't became a part of the statistic.

Today also marks my very first time of extracting a tooth without the help of my lecturer. Well... that's not 100% true :P I paused while extracting it as the tooth had extruded halfway because I got exhausted. I said to Prof. Sitthique, my supervisor for today, who's also an oral pathologist, "Prof., I think I am exhausted already, oh my God", my sweat was dribbling down my forehead and he took over for a few seconds until I took it back (because I couldn't bear the feeling of having a lecturer doing my work. I want to learn my lesson) jumping up and down like a popping popcorn, "Aaaaaa, I want to do it, I want to do it, let me finish my extraction, please, Prof, pleeeease". Thank Allah he didn't look at me ridiculously or say anything such as, "Observe the expert first okay". He simply smiled and laughed at me, saying, "Haha, okay, as long as you don't fracture the tooth. The caries is large, and hopefully I don't end up finishing it for you". And yeah, I did okay, no tooth fracture :D But later, I noticed my right hand to tremble abnormally (and I never experienced this effect before). Uh... I hope the effect wears off soon. I didn't expect the patient's tooth to have such large roots. For that specific tooth, its roots are usually slightly more slender than those, but oh well - yet another experience gained :) I'm going to upload the picture tomorrow, insya Allah ^_^

Next week will be a busy one, no wonder I'm feeling somewhat restless. I have a partial/partial cobalt chrome denture design to show to Dr Aida Niza, my treatment plan for my paediatric patient to be approved by Dr Zuliani, and to see Dr Wan Zaripah to ask about last week's dental quiz. I can't believe I totally thought there's no dental quiz for last week. I feel like jumping off this window in front of me, but I worry I might induce an earthquake - if not a tsunami :P

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

balik rumah :D

Today, the roads of Kelate are so so so congested, I decided not to get something to eat. It was so congested that my mood to survey for new laptop was killed miserably. So many people were driving madly just now that I am currently, honestly, thinking of keeping a few bricks in my car, in case I feel like throwing one at them.

BUT! Alhamdulillah, I'm flying home tonight, insya Allah~~~ Sankyu Incik Hanif Genzo for picking me up today T_T My parents won't be home for 3 days :'( Which means I'll only see them for one and a half day. Anith's away for raya haji too. So I had to trouble this guy here. Sankyu T_T

Speaking of which, today, a jack-ass caused me to accidentally spurt out vulgar words when he came to me while I was drawing out some money in KB Mall. "Money or life", with a hand pointed to me. I thought my heart ran out of my mediastinum O_O! Then a few silly thoughts lingered, "Aik, aku draw RM50 je takkan itu pun nak rompak?", and, "Eh, apasal perompak ni kecek ore putih?". Then I found out that it's Mr. Akmal anak Affan. Memang terhambur perkataan-perkataan kesat. Adui... regrettable action.

Friday, November 12, 2010

enjoy the victory :)

The day I made that decision, so many things bombarded my mind. Will they get mad at me? Will they think it's purely due to personal reasons? Will they learn their lessons? Will my studies improve? And most importantly - will I get to find replacements who have great chemistry with me? Although I was somehow disappointed with how things progressed initially, of course, so many more amazing things were waiting for behind that veil. And this time, this very second, I learned that that step I took was not a mistake. Not a mistake at all. And these great talented people are my price for victory - my reward for bearing with ridiculous stuff :)

Right after RBSM, Yiying and I rushed back to USM since we had a performance to make that night. So the line-up was initially Hazwan, Yiying, Anam, and I only, but later as we watched a band made up of second year medical and dental students practising in front of us and I was very sure most of them are able to learn new notes fast, I requested the cellist and drummer to play along with us, and they agreed! :D So we performed three songs altogether - Bila Cinta by Gio, Lucky by Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat, and Pergi by Aizat. For Lucky, the are glitches here and there for the first chorus. Since I haven't had any good rest for a month (not even during weekends) and slept for three hours everyday so that I can study for ward rounds and clinical sessions as well as finishing other assignments in time (but yeah, I am always fashionably late bahaha, but I want to improve this, I really mean it T_T), right after RBSM, my body temperature spiked and my throat was blaring with inflammation. Yaddah yaddah yaddah, here are the videos. Special thanks to my pal, Beh Yewhin for recording these videos for us :)

And this is the second year band that I was talking about, witness their talent for yourself! The line-up was Jiaming (vox), Asyraf (guitarist), Ziyad (guitarist), Sarah (cellist), Syafiq (keyboardist), and Mike (drummer). They performed Angel Theme (from the drama series) and 21 Guns by Greenday :)

Today is Friday and it's yasumidesu! But why am I lazing around, I'm supposed to change my bedsheet. It's there for a week already :P Nanti gatal badan baru nak bising.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


It popped up in my mind out of the blue about my very first dentist (in my memory of course), so I Googled up about him. AND I FOUND HIM HAHAHAHAH! Back in those days, my maids were Hindustan movies junkies so I didn't have any option but to watch them as well. The main actors during that time were usually Amitabh Bachan, Govinda Krishna, Salman Khan, Anil Khan, and a few others and I have no idea who the actresses were. So this dentist who treated me resembled a lot like Govinda, that's why I can recall his face well LOL!!! Note the past tense though, because... oh man, time does change people, especially their physical appearance! Heh heh! What a random topic to write on.

As I had mentioned before, I was scheduled to consult Prof Sitthique, the visiting professor in my dental school as well as an oral pathologist, regarding my submandibular mass. Thank God, he said it's most probably a fibrosed lymph node secondary to previous respiratory tract infections. Hm, that came at no surprise since I get it every one or two months :P Alhamdulillah :) Speaking of which, earlier in the morning, I bumped into him while entering an elevator. He looked at me and smiled, "You're the one who... organised... who... emceed the event, right?", and since I respect him a lot I stuttered, "Ah.. y.. Ya, ya". Indeed as they said, the wiser a person is the more humble he/she shall be. And I find it intriguing that he asked whether I'm from Johore while we were waiting for Kak Nora, the staff nurse in charge in Klinik Pakar Pergigian USM to fill up my radiology request form. I usually get these, "Are you from Penang?", "Do you have some sort of Indian blood in you?", "Are you half Arab?", and yaddah yaddah, but never - "Are you from Johore?". Good guess, although I'm quite sure he didn't make a random guess. Indeed, Ayah is from Johore and Umi is from Singapore.

Speaking of clinics, I had paedodontic clinical session again. I think I performed very badly this time :( Frankly speaking, I didn't study for it this time. Gahhh I have gotten so lazy these couple of days! And Dr Zuliani Mahmood's (our paedodontist) somewhat gentle comments had really given me a boost, Alhamdulillah :) This habit of waiting for someone to actually poke me in the arse before acting should be abolished! Procrastination isn't something to be proud of ya, Zahirah. And I had to face the cranky staff nurse who was in charge of Dental Health Education room. I can't believe she scolded me for questioning about giving a complimentary toothbrush to my patient just because he's oral hygiene score is somewhat undesirable. When I asked Dr Zuliani regarding this, she was surprised. She said it shouldn't have been that way. I feel like getting back to the nurse, but oh well... no good will come out of it :P I'd rather see Kak Nora and just buy one for my patient (f.y.i, to USM students, you can get dental hygiene-related equipments at KPP at very very cheap prices). Leceh betul kerenah birokrasi begini.

Nonetheless, I am very grateful to have such a nice little boy as a patient. I look forward to seeing him again after raya haji holiday :)

Friday, November 5, 2010

hols hols T_T

Yesterday was a memorable one. Fourth year dental students from Indonesia came to our school for elective projects for a week and yesterday was their last day here. A few of us brought them to a tour around Kelantan, well you know what, I'm not really in the mood of babbling much about this. I'd rather upload the pictures instead, but the pics aren't here T_T Waiting for Yantie and Wian to upload them. Anyway one of them, Ika, and I were having a conversation about cars and I suddenly said, "Ora eneng uang loh", and silence followed suit. "Loh, kue iso ngomongei jowo?". Alamak, terlepas sudah. "Hee hee, dikit aja dong". Lama tak cakap Jawa dah sebab selalunya pembantu rumah saya, Kak Jannah, yang temankan :P

Lately, Kelantan has been having unanticipated holidays which I find inconvenient. First thing first, holidays means more clinical sessions to be cancelled. That also means more patients being put on hold. Next, it means losing profits. Uhhh, I wish the Kelantan royal family will be quick at confirming it and most importantly I wish there will be no hols this Sunday :P Besides, Raya Haji hols is just eleven days away.

Anyway, I have an appointment with Prof. Sitthique - the oral pathologist, this Monday regarding my midline submandibular mass. I hope it'll be nothing bad :P Oh yeah, Umi and Ayah are coming over tomorrow! That means ditching my room in Desasiswa Murni and off to Renaissance again tomorrow and the day after :D I need a break anyway (not in the means of hols this Sunday ya). And another thing... the 38th Asia-Pacific Dental Students Congress shall be held in Bangkok, Thailand, but words about USM drawing a quota on participation were passed among us. Harap-harap takda kuota. Alaaa, Dean, jangan le kedekut. Thailand je pun, bukannya Japan macam tahun lepas T_T

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

a hectic day

Today was my first day in specialty clinical posting. Ignorantly enough, I slept at 3.30am yesterday to do some reading on paediatric dentistry (paedodontics) because I had spent too much time on Dental Intervarsity Sports night and Regional (Asia) Biomaterial Scientific Meeting 2010 . Not surprisingly enough, the specialty clinic I'm serving in today is indeed paediatric dentistry. In Malaysia, paediatric patients are those who are in need of special-care as well as those below 18 years old. There is one concept all physicians should hold to in treating a paediatric patient:

Paediatric patient is not a mini adult.

You lose their trust once, do look forward at struggling to retrieve it back. Patience - is the main player in this field. And even so, surprisingly enough, paediatric dentists are usually the strictest one among all dentist specialists. I was so glad when the clock stroke 4.30 in the evening and I couldn't present my very first patient for paediatric dentistry's case to my lecturer, Dr Zuliani Mahmood, since currently kids rarely visit us as they are sitting for examinations. Reason being I did prepare theory-wise, but no, I wasn't adequately prepared for the real clinical scenario. Yes, I remember quite a number of them - tooth eruption chronology, permanent and deciduous teeth anatomy (both are different in so many ways especially the way they react in pathological scenario), the way to fill up a paedodontic dental form, and yaddah yaddah, but since my very first patient for this specialty isn't actually a simple one, I couldn't even properly tailor my treatment plan for him especially since he's a walk-in patient - which means this is his very first visit to us. Nonetheless, I did not regret not getting to present it in time as I hate sounding too ridiculous in front of my lecturers. Well, they said, "There is always your first time for this and that and don't expect perfection from it. It is a learning process", but what I hold to is that there is a limit to everything and to be too unprepared for this one is just... unacceptable - for a person who's going for a course which demands precision and the ability to decide and act fast regardless of the scenario. The ability to do everything 'fast' should be acquired with time as the skills slowly develop, that is what I hold to and openly accept. But first thing first is always to build a foundation that is strong enough to support you till you retire, and mine is currently very shaky. Theory is theory, and it is there to some extent (although I personally think it is still inadequate even for a first-timer), but the clinical part is the one that is very weak. I hope I shall gain experience and improve rapidly with time, insya Allah.

Speaking of which, I'd like to record a few things about my very very very first patient for paedodontics. He is a nine year old Malay boy who behaves very well although his oral condition is not something a first-timer would look forward to. I think... I can do something with this kid, help him improve in many ways, with Allah's will, of course. And Alhamdulillah, I was granted a patient who has a very cooperative and caring mother. So she was eager to bring him again next week and I'm very much looking forward to this :) As I was handing his personal details form to a staff nurse in screening clinic, and as the nurse asked me, "Eh, jolo (betul ke) ko hari jadi dia hok (yang) ni?". "Bakpo (kenapa), staff nurse? Ho (ya) la, hok tu la, satu November 2002. Eh... meta (kejap)... HARI JADI DIO HARI NI LA!!! ", panic at the disco aku. Terus lepas examine dia, cabut lari keluar klinik, start enjin, terus pecut pergi beli kek kejap. Alhamdulillah sempat sedar dan sempat beli sikit buah tangan. That happiness on his face was... priceless, man. And that was his first cake for the day :')

Today, while rushing to see Encik Lah to get my car keys, I bumped into Dr Fazal Reza, a biomaterial in dentistry and prosthodontics specialist. As usual, I just don't know why, I couldn't raise my head when a lecturer is around. Then he looked back at me and said, "Yes, you". "Oh, shit, what have I done this time", I said to myself. "The event was very nice, you hosted it very well", he said. Yes, I noticed him sitting at the front-most row. I blushed and explained that there were so many glitches during the event and we tried so hard to cover everything up, not to mention that it was our first time of hosting a formal event and he replied by saying he didn't notice much glitches (apart from the video error) and thought everything was actually going well. He congratulated me. Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ Buat somersault. Praises to God :'D