Thursday, May 19, 2011

a disguise

As told before, I sat for my end of year four exam which is composed of three papers - short assay question (essay) I & II, objective structured clinical exam (OSCE) I & II, and finally, a clinical exam.

I couldn't help but to weep right after I finished doing a class II amalgam restoration (a type of tooth filling), due to accidentally underfilling the restoration. It was about 0.2-0.3mm in diameter - small, but dentistry IS a tedious course. We pay attention to small things others would usually disregard. So 0.3mm is huge to me. The time was up, but that didn't stop me to say, "Do I need to redo the restoration then, Dr?", a part of me was at the brink of giving up. Dr Zuliani Mahmood (paedodontist) and Dr Lailatul (periodontist) both said that it's not necessary, but knowing them, I really couldn't stop my eyes from welling up while autoclaving instruments we used. Everything went so well until the final filling. Dr Zuliani is always a strict lecturer, but the warm aura she always have seem to bring out the best in ourselves. I looked at Yueming who asked me, "Z, how was yours?", helplessly. He wasn't being his usual jerk self. Well at least I know that someone's sympathising me - although till now I'm not quite sure how that'd help. It's just psychological stuff.

Two days ago, while again cleaning up my dental chair, feeling more unmotivated than ever, someone shouted, "Result dah keluar!". My heart was pumping so hard that I felt dizzy. Little did I expect it'd be announced so soon. Only four days of studying a syllabus of four years. I was too busy helping others when I was the one who needs attention from myself. My pace was slow, but every earthly thing must come to an end. I looked at the notice and continuously whispered Alhamdulillah. I did alright :') Alhamdulillah.

Anyway, I was thinking... how can a person be so perfect in so many ways? What I'm feeling is not envy, but it's... awe. I'm awed and feel honoured to get to know such creature.

1 comment:

Cyberzwan said...


ang ni ada macam ada OCPD la..quite a perfectionist.. however, that is what will make you a good dentist soon in the keep on doing it ok..

lossin' up a lil' bit babe...

i always know you'll do fine eventually..

p/s: aku xde idea nak tulis pe kat blog..dah byk event yg lepas..haha