Sunday, June 5, 2011

written in the stars

I tried cheering myself up by watching Glee. Apparently a worse feeling lingered instead.

I don't understand why I am running away from the same thing for two years already. It's getting exhausting, my stamina isn't that good you see. I might have jogged every single day when I was in my third year of DDS, but I stopped abruptly as my Professional 2 exams drew near. If there's a switch I can simply flick at my own will and erase a few memories, it'd be oh-so-useful. Instead of at least becoming blurry, the past is still crystal clear as far as I'm concerned.

Whenever it pops up in my mind, I seem to have the ability to shove it away at once, but the effect is always temporary. As temporary as the interval of time a rotation of the earth completes.

Everytime I take a flight early in the morning, I get to see the beautiful sunrise, featuring its best asset - the cloud, subhanAllah. It always look so solid, like an empire which buildings are made of cotton. And every single time, I can't help but to think oh how peaceful it will be if I can just run away from all the troubles residing on the ground and just lie on the cloud, away from all the conflicts I wish I can just ditch without feeling guilty, caring only about my own affairs although it might be lonely being stranded there alone. I just feel like... running away. Oh Allah, please make this silly though dissipate. Grant me the strength.

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