Saturday, November 12, 2011

my happiness

My hand skills used to be very bad that denture-making and paediatric dentistry skill classes would be the thing I dreaded the most when I was in my second and third years of DDS. What more when I was involved in an accident during which I injured my left shoulder when the car back-flipped 4-5 times and my left hand was shaking for almost three weeks. So I forced myself to redo everything until the result is acceptable, at least to my own eyes. Until my hand skills slowly improved - but that didn't come easy. I cried almost everyday most probably because I was so disappointed with myself, not being able to produce good result when others' products seemed so much better.

Alhamdulillah, everything improved tremendously. Allah won't test you beyond your limit. Alhamdulillah again, I was granted a paediatric patient who initially came with such poor oral hygiene and so many tooth cavities, I had to reinforce her oral hygiene twice and finally, she became my very first patient to score such good result for oral hygiene three times in a row. She's even willing to walk all the way from her house to the clinic just to get treated - of which I'd be worried of her safety every single time. Last week, I received an invitation to her birthday party, but I wasn't in Kelantan. So I bought her a birthday present instead. Frankly, whatever she did for herself and me is way more than this little present. If only all paediatric patients have such good attitude, but I guess everyone comes with their own way of being brought up and genetic make-up. To learn to handle a variety of cases is crucial to shape us into becoming good dentists. She made my paediatric dentistry sessions so much enjoyable :) Thank you, dear patient.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011


Taken from

I can't seem to stop reading Meme comic (the above is an excerpt from it). A stress-relieving thing to do after a tiring day at the clinic and lab. We have just entered our second week of clinical practice - being on our own (without an assistant), things have been quite tough, but I guess it's just a matter of time to get used to everything - the new system, new dental chair, and stuff.

Yesterday, I was beyond exhaustion to only being able to go back at 7pm because there were lots of prosthodontics-related things to settle at the lab. For some reasons, I prefer to do the lab works myself rather than handing them to my dental technician (just to practise some hand skills :P) except for teeth arrangement which consumes too much time. I was at the brink of giving up on walking back and forth between the dental school and my hostel. See, I'm trying to live a healthier life. Had been driving between both points last year, but my weight caught up fast which was a HUGE NO-NO! I forgot that I had neither gotten a proper lunch nor bought myself anything for dinner. Having diagnosed with gastritis a month ago and boy was I so proud that I didn't have that thing when my colleagues were all having it, I had to get something to gobble on. So I bought a few packets of instant noodle at Mydin. My left shoulder was aching (yay I haven't gone to physiotherapy department because I was too damn lazy to move during breaks) and I said to myself, "Gosh, I feel like giving up at trying to fulfill all my clinical requirements". Suddenly, a staff there walked pass me. He was pushing trolleys.

Hey, I saw this man before. Many times already.

He rarely smiles, but I had never seen him taking a break or slacking around. And I learned that I was being very ungrateful. That man had been doing the same job for months already and never once did he give up on it and I'm only entering my second week of dental practice in this final year of DDS. Who was I trying to kid? A boost for my spirit, Alhamdulillah :)

I believe that if you really pay attention to your surroundings, you'll appreciate yourself and everything that you still have more. Finally, you'll want to give your best in everything.

Anyway, I've been bumping into this medical officer at a cafe nearby. He had the sides of his hair shaved - (in a stylish way of course, not in the uhm.. r****t way haha) the very reason he caught my attention. Always appropriately dressed up, but also pale and tired-looking most of the time. Last morning, while I was queuing up for an elderly patient, I heard someone muttering impatiently. It was that lad! He was standing right behind me - TOKI DOKI! Haha, what a foolish thought. Ah well, just another day passing by.

Anyway, I just noticed that I forgot to pass up one of my logbooks. Darn!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

hands down

White flag, I give up, man. I thought that some people are worth hanging on to - well at least, after months of being progressively worn out, I actually hoped I could talk to someone about everything - rejunevation? I'm not sure. It might be more of trying to lighten the burden I heave on my shoulders and to relieve this heaviness in my chest even in a minute amount, but I guess, the people you can depend on are so few you can count using fingers on only one of your hands. I'm a pessimist at times but I consider myself optimistic when the circumstance requires me to, and I'm neither always filled with unnecessary angst nor do I get easily provoked at that, but I guess at this point, I just can't see other way out apart from giving up and putting an end to it. I don't see the point of turning back either. So, yeah, I guess this is goodbye, friend. Had some great time in the past and thanks for it but that's that.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

esh pee esh esh

No, that's not the facial expression I display when I'm doing my private business, but that's how my face looked like during last two days as I was trying to finish my research manuscript (is it the same as a thesis? Heck, I honestly have no idea) - the same expression I showed when I tried to steal some time here and there, during operation theaters, treating patients, just name it (okay, I lied. Only on certain occasions which could be spared) just to put a few pieces of the puzzle into place.

That's the very face I showed when I tried to play around with SPSS Statistics v19.0 software (everyone loves to upload tutorials on Adobe Aftereffects, Photoshop, and etc, but heyyyy SPSS needs more of them!! GAHHHHH!! Yeah, I tried to learn it through Youtube - epic fail - not to be attempted when time constraint is something you should take into consideration). They said that being able to manipulate the software is like cracking a Pandora. It's initially hard to understand and yaddah yaddah but all your effort will pay off. Well, uhm... TO HELL WITH IT!!! I didn't have the time, and it's so darn hard to use it, not without a manual book in my hands (okay, dear statisticians, I dub thee - the Masters of Pandorahhh), not after I had an intravenous infusion of Tramal the day before yesterday, and boy, that thing made me all groggy. I think I slept for a total of 16 hours yesterday. So, my final resort was to go all manual at statistics the next day. Blargh. Hello again, Microsoft Excel.

24 hours later (a.k.a a few minutes before this entry)...

That's Grade I Mallampati for you! Alhamdulillah, my research manuscript was finally completed! I feel like dancing but I think I'm catching a cold and my roommate is peacefully sleeping. I hate seeing a Sleeping Beauty suddenly transform into the Green Hulk unnecessarily.

Besides, I think it's time for me to...
... sleep peacefully today. Haven't had a peaceful night for quite some time. Alhamdulillah for everything :')

Oh, before I end my entry for tonight, here's a cool picture....

Nyieh heh heh heh. Goodnight ;)