Thursday, April 12, 2012
Well, the title doesn't really describe us best as few of us had moved to other cities nearby. I'll be frank, losing a friend isn't something I can cope with well. So as I lost one (basically we're still friends, but somewhat not really? Eh?) yesterday, I was overwhelmed with sadness and guilt beyond expectation (such thing hadn't happened to me for quite some time) that I did the usual thing I do whenever I feel like clearing my head up - take a long drive. I might had sped more than I usually do that I accidentally did a drift once and lost control of the car - also once - while I was about 30km away from my university. Alhamdulillah, nothing really bad happened or I'd be screwed. Adrenaline was rushing, my hands were trembling due to some other stuff, and my lacrimal glands weren't helping much by secreting tears that my vision became blurry. I was somewhat distraught when I arrive at my room. Found my childhood friend, Kishie, online and decided to share my sadness with her. Had a long chat actually, talked about stuff I don't dare telling to any other soul. That made me realise that... I really miss my Subang friends. I miss their company, talking nonsense, pulling pranks, and just... spending time with them. At some point, I just need a person who has a completely different point of view compared to the people here. I'm not dissing anyone here, but the idea of shoving all these science people into one campus separating them from people of other courses isn't really working for me (but I choose to just play along and get my DDS in the shortest time possible). Personally, it restricts our mind - we learn to become more rigid. You're not going to see only people with science background when you work anyway. And these few childhood friends of mine provide me that sense of comfort and openness I'm currently longing for. Just a few more moths to go, insya Allah, and goodbye, USM. I shall return to them - to whom I can just speak my mind without bothering being judged all the time. Well, now, at least some of this stuffiness in my chest is somewhat relieved. Ventilation - a-okay! Now I can think straight. Having them by my side, I know that I am much stronger than I thought. So what if I lose one? I still have them. I still have my family members. I always have my Creator. I still have a number of good friends in the university with whom I cried and laughed with. Zahirah, insya Allah, you'll be fine.