Monday, June 25, 2012

come and go

Alhamdulillah, 99% of my medical colleagues passed their final professional exams and that includes my dear dear dear Norhafizah Mohamed. Congratulations, babe :) Today, as I sent her to Renaissance Hotel for her graduation night, a wave of melancholy struck me. What more when my FM modulator was playing Everything Burns by Anastacia featuring Ben Moody of Evanescence (ridiculous, I know). I forgot to have my lunch today... again. Although I wasn't in the mood for dinner much, I had to force myself to have it. Particularly because I collapsed three days ago due to hypotension. My body really is going haywire with all these worries trapped in this little vault I carry here and there. I'm unsure now. I really want to graduate, but the future is somewhat hazy. Frankly, I am trying my best to complete my clinical requirements, but regardless of our plans, Allah is the best planner.

Soon, Fiza shall be leaving for her hometown for good. Of course, every meeting shall end with a farewell, sooner or later. Everything was foreseen obviously, but when the time actually comes, one can't help but to heave such melancholic emotions. Truth to be told, one of the main reasons I'd like to graduate as soon as possible is so that I can start working soon and meet these lads perhaps worrying about something apart from exams, exams, and yeah - exams. Somewhat shallow way of thinking, but that's how I'd like to keep things in the meantime.

I actually have two reports to finish today, but I'm letting my heart win this time. Blogging jeahhh!

Anywhoo, I'm somewhat bugged this time. I might've crossed 'the line' too far. I think I should withdraw and save myself from unnecessary troubles. Yes. Thy shall.

I received texts from Anith. Couldn't help but to pour all my misery to her. I felt somewhat guilty afterwards and relieved too haha :) I actually mistook her Whatsapp texts for another hamsap guy who had been bugging me for weeks. Darn, the media has been raging about mischievous acts committed by professionals, but what about the patients themselves?

Friday, June 8, 2012

an end

This week has been filled with bidding farewell to my juniors. This is the very first weekend that I'm spending without them and I'm already missing these lads terribly. No more hanging out at the riverside on Thursday night enjoying the stuff Ziyad, Asyraf, and I usually do. No more hanging out at McDonald's at 3 o'clock in the morning downloading Adobe After Effects and etc. Frankly, I sobbed after dropping Ziyad and Mike at the airport and saying goodbye to Asyraf for the last time during my undergraduate years. "Thanks, Kak, you taught me a lot and treated me (dental treatments)", Ziyad said. Truth to be told, it's actually thanks to you guys for changing my life during my final year in DDS. It's not you guys who need me for all the teachings, tips, and etc, it's me who needed you guys to boost up my spirit these few years I have gotten to know you. "Hanging out with them on the night of their exams will affect them", someone told me. Let me tell you... we didn't spend those nights doing nothing. I was sparring them with tons of questions and Alhamdulillah, those questions came out for their essay paper. "I dah tengok markah Ziyad, he actually got quite high marks for his professional exams", Dr Sarliza informed me when we were having a vacation in Perhentian Islands recently. My heart beat fast with excitement and gratefulness particularly because he's the very person I worried the most would face troubles during exams. I underestimated him.

The day before Acap left for his home, I had dinner with him. "Ohhh, now you have juniors hihi", I teased him when he told me that he'd hangout with his juniors later that night. "Akak, you taught us to teach our juniors. I'll continue that tradition. I will keep it alive", he replied. I almost burst into tears at that time, but perhaps my ego overcame myself and I just smiled instead. "Akak, I'm really thankful to you. You're willing to become a bassist when you've been a guitarist all these while. And despite exams and all, you still joined us for jamming sessions and performances", Mike told me. First thing first, I'm that kind of person that the sooner any exam is the more I'll sleep, play computer games and guitar, and go out. And to have people with almost completely different point of view around at that time actually makes me stressed less.

Earlier this week, as I arrived at the clinics, I was surprised with a thank you card which turned out to be sent by Jiamin - my cutest junior. "Thank you, akak, for everything. You're the best base player", she wrote. I chuckled at 'base player', but I was also overwhelmed with both sadness and happiness.

They're among the reasons I'd like to graduate as soon as possible - the drive that pushed and motivated me during my clinical sessions. I remember Mike saying to me, "Akak, I don't want to see you here again next year as a student". I laughed and said to myself silently, "I shall keep that promise".

Shit. I'm blogging in One Stop Kopitiam and my eyes are welling up again. Better not embarrass myself. Better stop writing at this very minute. Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear juniors - Ziyad, Acap, Mike, Jiamin, Sarah, and Jack for these couple of years knowing you guys. Each one of you really changed my life. I really love all of you. To Acap, Mike, and Ziyad, the three of you resurrected my love for metal music. Thank you.