Saturday, August 25, 2012

time to become a big girl

23rd August marks my birthday. After five years of studying in USM, never once did I get to celebrate it with my Subang friends and this year was the first. Went to Empire to get a bag and undies as my flight back to Kelantan was scheduled to be on the next day. I texted Hakam (who till now hasn't introduced his girlfriend to me. Kedekut!) and Hannah.

Had my daily dosage of caffeine at Starbucks and met Melissa there. She's flying to London next month. All the best, girl!

Later that day, we headed to Italiannies, Subang Empire, and these lovelies celebrated my birthday.

Left to right: May, Epa, me, Kishie, and Hannah 

I was surprised with a pavlova, but the waiters made me do stupid stuff beforehand. I was asked to stand on a chair - during which I was terribly worried that it'd just fall apart from sustaining my full weight haha! And I even had to blow candles from far away and I was worried I'd start making my own mini rain of saliva and spray it on Hannah and Awie. Epa paid for everything, aaaa, thank you, my personal pharmacist! Epa, May, Hannah, Kishie, and Awie, thank you for everything. The best one so far, period. My chest was heavy as I hugged the girls. I wanted to cry, but I knew it's better not to make things worse.

Change of topic.

24th Aug 2012. This day has arrived - time to fly back to Kelantan. I am not going to lie, it's something that I didn't look forward to at all. Was Whatsapp conferencing with the girls till 4 o'clock in the morning - I didn't want to put the few hours left at home to waste. I didn't even sleep voluntarily. By the time I woke up to pack up my stuff at 6 o'clock, I was holding my handphone and lying in the living hall. The TV was left on, perhaps I was afraid of feeling lonely. My luggage was ready, took a good half an hour of cold shower (warm water aggravates my eczema), and I sat silently for awhile after that. "Goodbye, home", I said to myself silently and I walked towards Along's car and left for the airport. Got myself King William Chocolate at Boost - one of my favourite drinks. I didn't want to think much, so I slept during the whole flight to Kelantan.

*DUNNN!* Another bumpy landing performed by an AirAsia pilot. "Ah!!!!", I exclaimed, as my neck flexed forcefully. Two passengers sitting beside me looked at me concernedly. "Are you, okay?", one of the guys asked. I just nodded. I wish I could say to them, "This is nothing compared to what I'm feeling now". Took a cab to the university. Crap, it was so hot. Musim kemarau. I usually fall sick during such season. My immunity is puny liddat :P

As soon as I reached USM, I called Jijah - one of my close friends in Kelantan. I promised her a treat. She really helped managing so many stuff I left undone a month ago. Thank you, Jijah :) I entered my old room. This is it, huh? It's for real now. I must be strong and go through these six months to come.

I received a few messages wishing me all the best for this extension. Thank you, people. I shall try my best. I... must be strong. A cyber pal, Zakk, and my good friend, Yiying, gave me a mini lecture on how bad self-injurious act is. Yeah, I shall bear in mind those advices. I'll try my best to be happy. I shall cherish everything that I still have. For a start, I had eliminated people who are too much of a liability to me. Those who had been taking advantage on me. Those who had caused me pain much more than happiness. I'm done with being used.

It's raining now. Alhamdulillah.


a.s.m.a said...

All d best zack !!
U can do it ,
Keep Moving Forward ^____^

Cyberzwan said...

may Allah give you all the strength you need..i may not be alongside you..but prayers have always been, and will always be with you~~ amin~~

zahirah ardy said...

insya Allah, Ain, i'll try moving forward! speed of light!!

Wan, you know what... hari tu aku ada terfikir nak buat post pasal kau n Yiying, but bila aku baca balik aku tergelak sorang-sorang. Hihi. Terima kasih, Wan :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Belated birthday Zahirah. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki dan diberkati dunia akhirat. :)