Tuesday, October 23, 2012

love hate

This morning, I was really at the brink of my patience. Had a patient who gave me so many problems. I was wondering the reasons master students referred him back to KRK (Klinik Rawatan Keluarga) and KRK refused to treat him too. He challenged me, made rude remarks, and when I started to talk in more serious tone, he'd give me compliments. I understand this kind of patients too well, but little did I know that I almost cried this morning. I had to take five to calm myself down and punched a wall out of anger. Now that's a patient who doesn't appreciate free treatment USM provide him nor does he appreciate his operator's effort. "Ikhlas, Zahirah, ikhlas. Dia pernah ajar kau dulu", I whispered to myself silently, sending prayers to Allah asking for strength and patience.

I am actually working my arse off for another patient who is very cooperative. He is from lower socioeconomic group. Requested for filling on his upper front teeth and ended up getting more than half of his teeth extracted. He didn't know how to brush his teeth nor did he know how damaging carbonated drinks can be without proper oral hygiene care. Why did I give my all for his case? It's because he's getting married this November and I can't let si raja sehari experience his marriage with such sad dentition. Had only a month and more than ten tooth fillings needed to be done. I opened up Sturdevant's Art and Science of Operative Dentistry to study what's best for him. Prepared myself as much as possible in case I get sparred by my lecturers when I fill his teeth up - in which case if I couldn't answer any, my procedures would be hindered. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly with just minor glitches I managed fine. Now, I already began constructing his denture, hoping he could smile widely, ear to ear, during his marriage reception. At that time, I will be glad because I know I have contributed a little. Nevertheless, how much energy can a person have at a time? I accidentally fell asleep this evening while doing labworks for his denture and I was melting a wax at that particular time. My rubber glove was aflame and I woke up. Had to decide to go back to my room because I knew I'd collapse any time. True. The moment I reached my room I fell down. My knees just gave away themselves. Once I am into my work, I'd forget my meals and keep myself energised. A few minutes later I recovered and sat in front of this laptop to write this entry. I got myself a can of isotonic drink hoping that'd supply me enough strength to stay conscious. Alhamdulillah, my metabolism is somewhat low that I don't need to eat much or get hungry easily.

All these while, I had been thinking.. those lab-works which I had been doing myself rather than passing them to my dental technologists... when will they start to come in handy. Today, I grasped its significance. I have a love hate relationship with dentistry. At times, I'd cry because of it. At times, I'd feel grateful and be in bliss for the things I am able to do in this field. In the end, I always know that I am deeply in love with my job.

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