Sunday, November 18, 2012

irrational

When I looked back at things, I realised that it's all my fault that it happened. One thing to bear in mind - if I could literally drill it into my head, I would, really, I would - is people take advantage on your weakness. Honesty can be both strength and weakness. In the end, we can never control or know how people will react to anything we tell them. Yes, I had another episode of breaking down yesterday and I had to tell it to someone to calm myself down. So that I could fall asleep. I might still have some unresolved issues with anxiety. He called me at midnight and I had to listen to his lecture till my eyes started to become droopy and my heartbeat reduced as it calmed down. He was angry, he obviously was angry, but in the end, he's right. I shouldn't have taken certain things lightly because sometimes my strength and alertness aren't enough to push someone away and my openness might be misunderstood. It ended with a gentle goodnight wish. A mutual understanding. Just as it always is between us. Something that others might not comprehend. At least we fully understand the situation both of us are in and we don't cross each other's line. Thanks for being there for me, pal. At least it's off my chest now.

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