Friday, November 30, 2012

melankoli

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay". I woke up to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's Your Guardian Angel. For reasons I can't completely comprehend, tears started streaming down my temporal area. Losing people I hold dear to my heart isn't something I particularly enjoy. In the same time, this thing is eating me up slowly and I don't want my heart to be damaged beyond repair. I'd rather back off when I know nothing more is possible, knowing the person you are. Please understand, I cherish my every friendship although for certain ones, I put up a solid wall, but friend, I am unsure whether when the time comes, when you're much more willing to let me go, will I be able to do the same without the inevitable heartache? Because you're always pretty selfish and I had been pushing aside my own need when it comes to you. So my principle is easy. The sooner the better.


To another friend, I understand things got ugly between us. I apologised so many times, but bear in mind. Three times is my maximum limit. Beyond that, don't even expect shit from me. I don't care whether you have been listening to that 'witch' because I am beyond that phase already. I don't care whatever that witch says, but surely I expected more from you. At least you had always been the wiser one. And today, you lost me.


I guess it's just from the lack of sleep. I hope tomorrow shall welcome the stronger and better me. And yet, I can't seem to stop these tears from trickling down. Mental-wise, the strength is shaky. I know I have always been playing the 'tough girl' role when I'm around someone, but today, I can't. I... just can't.

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