Wednesday, October 28, 2015

so long, my friend

I appear strong like an alpha male. I multitask like a robot. I drive like a man. I cook and shop groceries like a mother. I seem independent. I have many abilities.

But put those aside, I am just a human.

And born a homo sapien, I am just...

... a social creature.

I learned the hard way not to expose my weaknesses to most people despite my chatty mouth, but at times I'd bump into a few who make me feel as if the world isn't that harsh after all.

I feel safe in this imaginary bubble.

That's how some people make me feel. I can protect myself most of the time, but again, I am just...

... a social creature.

I need to express. I need to express freely and know that you wouldn't harm me in return. Unfortunately, I always feel...

... too vulnerable and overthink.

Friend, it's never your fault. I will cease being yet another burden you wouldn't want to have in your life.

Another burden you can't afford to carry.

Friend, this is me. I am no titanium. I am that shattered glass you'd try to glue its pieces back together, but...

... I might cut into your fingers.

Friend, this is me. It's never your fault.

Be the good man you are. 

Believe me when I say having a person listening to my daily stories kept my heart pumping normally. 

Normal volume. Normal rhythm. Normal rate.

It is a favour I am willing to sacrifice because you continuing your days before my existence, joyfully, means more than my happiness. More than my need for oxygen...

... as I gasp every night, like a fish flippering on earth, counting its seconds

I'll continue feeling invisible. I'll continue my existence. I hope my sanity is here to stay, but I know better that...

... It's time to bid farewell.

Thank you, friend.

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