Tuesday, October 4, 2016

the gamble

Thank you, you-know-who-you-are :)

I remember the day you thought it'd be cool to use, "Dentist?", as an ice-breaker. Although you eventually discovered that this dentist is financially poorer than you. I learnt to open up to you maybe because you have been persistent till today...

Or maybe because of that time when you drove from hundreds of kilometers away, dropped all your meetings, and I woke up at a hospital to you staring at me. Wrinkles all over your face, looking worried and exhausted, in your working attire. I thought it'd be just a one-time thing. Second time I got warded, again, there you were, sleeping on a chair at my bedside, 6 o'clock in the morning, although barely 12 hours before, you told me you were in Terengganu on official reasons. I never had to eat food they served at the hospital because you'd always equip me with food supply enough for days when you had to get back to work. Till today, whenever I need you, you'd always make space and time for me, no matter how busy you are. Even if for only an hour, but you'd make sure that you're there for me because I am a hopeless train-wreck.

Or perhaps as I threw tantrums, you'd pop up at places you know I'd go to because my life is boring and every single day, I always stick to my mundane routine. And you had never tried to change it because you know how strict I am with my dietary habits.

Or days when I'd be financially tumbled but because I'm such an egomaniac, I'd refuse to admit it, but I'd suddenly find navel oranges and Subway sandwich hidden somewhere somehow. 

Or your panicked facial expression when I found the handphone you planned to surprise me with as my birthday gift, which unfortunately got stolen by an arsehole.

Or maybe because after 3-4 months already, I still get my daily wake up calls from you at 6 o'clock. They even come with snooze mode because when I go silent for half an hour, you'd call me again because you know that I often fall back asleep.

Or how you'd almost always pick me up no matter where you were before that and not even once did you complain about having to drive me wherever I want to go although I am an indecisive bitch when it comes to choosing a place to eat. 

Or how you'd remember things about me... like how I prefer my sandwich to be - roasted chicken on a parmesan oregano bread, with extra lettuce and onions, capsicum, cucumber, jalapeno pepper, and tomato. No sauce, please. Or the only 2 types of coffee that I'd usually go for - long black or cappuccino. Or my favourite cakes - red velvet, hummingbird, cheesecake, and chocolate cake (when I'm PMS-ing). Or my favourite chocolates - Kinder Bueno, good dark or Belgian chocolates.

Or the way you always figured out that I was having chest pain during that one month of my heart acting up, eventhough I was talking, trying to act as if everything was fine.

Or how we'd laugh at my ridiculous imaginations and at times, we'd converse as if we're just normal friends. I feel like I can always be silly self around you.

Or perhaps when you accurately described things I did during my school days although I was such an ignorant kid, I almost never knew that you existed - like which sports house I was in. Which monsoon drain became my playground. Which song my band used to jam a lot (but I guess that's almost never a secret anyway). The way I dressed up before.

Or how I eventually learnt to look at you. And I caught myself falling in love with your smile. And eventually - for you.

Hey you... maybe because my previous experience was terribly dark. I am always pessimistic when it comes to my love life. I don't know how long will you stay. I know that I don't cope well with your flaws although you welcomed mine with open arms. But I do know one thing - I'm gonna enjoy this moment while I still can. And I thank you for this :)