Sunday, June 4, 2017


It feels good to have all my siblings under one roof. The last time we had such opportunity was during our Cairo trip. Before that, we last saw our youngest brother, Ahmad, almost 2 years ago.

I feel at ease.

Trying to recall the times I felt like this...

Perhaps during those night drives with my two juniors, Acap and Ziyad. Roaming aimlessly in Kelantan, listening to metal music, occasionally stopping at random beaches, just enjoying the sea and good food. Our jamming sessions at a mediocre studio near the university. Lower lip pierced. And I was the batch leader. I had people staring at me disapprovingly but really. Like I cared.

Or maybe when I was a kid, playing in a monsoon drain because normal children slides were overrated. Sliding down a slope on a paperbox sounded like a great idea. It still does now.

Or maybe during highschool, when it felt cool to skip classes and flee from our late-discipline teacher. I can still remember his faded jade green Toyota Unser, a cane in his right hand. Coming to school at 8am like it's no one's damn business.

Perhaps when I was offered a place at this OMF surgery department. Finally, free from school treatments, workplace politics, and paperworks! Free from a cheater and all his baggage too. Life felt so good at that time. I was up for an adventure I had little idea about. I knew it'd mean chucking my personal life aside, but, it's so worth it.

Or maybe now that I can do whatever and whenever I want. For myself. Not for anyone else. Like how I knew it wasn't an urgency to change the under tray cover of my car and yet, I prefer every part of my car to be intact, so I straight away drove to the service center and submitted its payment. Paid and ordered myself 3 pairs of my usual powered contact lenses because I hate waiting for the order to arrive every damn month. It feels best when you do something for your own sake.

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