Saturday, July 8, 2017

you have my heart, at least for the most part

Perhaps because I appear somewhat flamboyant, choosing not to trust in my words is easy for some. Like how a man in whose hands I put my trust could tell every single person around me that I am a liar.

If anything, I am at times too bluntly honest. I might cherry-pick details, but I do not lie.

This time, I have my evidences. These bruises on my right shoulder, right arm, left wrist, right knee. This swelling on my back. This mark on my right arm outlining someone's palmprint. These are my evidences.

Like how someone yelled at me to shut myself up in front of the public as I begged him to stop and return my belonging. They are my witnesses. 

Like how I got dragged onto someone's car as I desperately tried to escape, but not without my possessions.

As I desperately sent desperate pleas for help from a fellow female acquaintance. Yes, acquaintance. A person I had known for barely a year but betrayed my trust in every single aspect. Woman to woman, if you were in my shoes and I were in yours, I would go to extents you could never imagine with one mission in my head. "Save her", but there you were. Just as your bloodline. You defended him while he violated me. He took away my sense of freedom. He made the only place I once experienced joy from constant adrenaline-rush, a hell for me. 

That night, Allah showed how much of a liar one can be. Perhaps he's good with words. So good to the point that I began to doubt myself. Am I really that horrible person he portrayed me to be?

That night, Allah showed me how much of a liar one can be. He knows that being soft-hearted is my weakness, but Allah always has better plans. As I read his lies, one by one, as much as I wanted to believe him, truth was put on the table. As naked as it could be. How three strangers and three friends became my witnesses. 

But these bruises. They will speak on my behalf. My evidences sent to numerous people for safe-keeping. Just in case anything happens to me. This post alone might spark rage unlike anything I have seen, but I am doing this to be fair to myself. Just in case anything happens to me. 

If something grave really happens to me, dear people who encouraged him and believed in him, my blood is on your hands.

To those who betrayed my trust... the afterlife awaits us. Preach righteousness all you want, but one should not underestimate the weight of being entrusted secrets. One should not underestimate evil deed committed on another fellow being. You shall forever be indebted to me for this.